Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
