Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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