you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
