I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
