some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
