Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
