How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
