she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
