I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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