My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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