She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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