dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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