I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I could fuck to npr.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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