Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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