I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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