Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
