I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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