you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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