i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
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