I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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