She's JV to your varsity
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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