Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
