Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
