You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
