So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Screwed.edu
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
