I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
