You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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