Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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