I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
why do cheetos always look like penises
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
