When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
