He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
