Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
