My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
