At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
