Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
