Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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