You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
