Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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