What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
