i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
