i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
