I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
