He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
