Rock
Scissors
Fuck
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
