I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The ass gains better be worth it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
