I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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