Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
