just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
