I could have mohawked her pubes.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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