Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
