Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Even my vagina gasped.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
