this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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