the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
